My Most Embarassing Moment

Modesty is the first thing to go when you become a mother. If you’ve ever given birth, you know what I mean. If you’ve ever been pregnant, you know what I mean. Hello? Have you seen maternity clothes?

Anyway, after laboring and delivering — twice now, mind you — to a room full of strangers while panting and grunting and flashing my not-so-charming charms, I really thought nothing else could ever embarass me again.

But I was wrong.

Last night, after our dinner was graciously delivered to us by our pastor and his wife, Rainey and I invited them in to visit for a while. We settled into the living room and chatted about the newest member of our family (and the reason they brought us dinner and diapers) — baby Lilla.

Never one to shy away from conversation, Rainey began to share her new experience as a big sister. She told them how much she enjoyed it and how much she liked helping me, and I smiled lovingly because I knew what she was saying was absolutely true.

Ever since Lilla arrived a couple of weeks ago, Rainey has soaked up every minute of Lilla’s refreshing presence. When she’s not enthralled in her own activity, she’s absorbed in mine, which is usually feeding Lilla. She’s intrigued by the whole breastfeeding experience. She has studied the mechanics of it closely; it’s really a miracle Lilla has enough room to eat. She’s even mimicked the routine with several of her baby dolls.

So I really should have seen it coming when, out of the blue, Rainey turns to my pastor’s wife and asks, “Do you have big nipples?”

My pulse stopped. I thought I had died. I wished I was dead. But unfortunately I was still alive because I could feel the beet-red color burning my horrified face.

I stammered and stuttered for what seemed like days, but, like the dinner she brought, my pastor’s wife freely gave Rainey a silent nod and reassured me that her question was totally appropriate.

Yes, motherhood may have robbed me of my modesty, but not my pride. If I ever make it to another dinner party again, I SO have the best answer to the icebreaking question, “What’s your most embarassing moment?”

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